Last Saturday Donald Trump spent an hour on the phone trying to inveigle the Attorney General of Georgia to ‘find’ him enough votes to overturn the results of the election, in the wake of which some pundits are speculating on whether he can be, and if so he should be, charged with a criminal offence. This strikes me as akin to the five year old who threatens to sue you because you stuck your tongue out at him in the playground. Donald Trump is not going to be charged with a criminal offence, not because he’s not a criminal, – of course he is! – but because that kind of prosecution is what happens in ‘shithole’ countries, not in America.

Nevertheless, it’s tempting to imagine the following scenario. Trump does attend Biden’s inauguration on January 20. At 11:59 he shoots the President-Elect. But even at 12:01, when he’s no longer the President, he still has a cordon of Secret Service around him the local police department would have to penetrate in order to arrest him. Wouldn’t this make a great episode for Law and Order – Special Victims Unit?!

Once he has been arrested, and if he doesn’t make bail, do his bodyguards take shifts protecting him from the other prisoners? Or from the regular guards? And if he’s convicted and sentenced to life, what then?

This is what comes of making special provisions for kings and their equivalents. But if they’re not promised these provisions for after they’re deposed, no one would accept these high offices. Why? Because one can’t serve as king or president without making enemies. In fact it’s the job of the king or president to make enemies. 

I have a hit list. And so do you. As it happens Donald Trump isn’t on mine. Neither is Justin Trudeau. But as for anyone else, hot needles in my eye couldn’t force me to say. 

Categories: Humour, Social and Political Philosophy

Tags: , , ,

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