Most people lose track of their ancestors after a couple generations. I haven’t. My family archives go back to when we came down from the trees, about a half a kilometre from the upper Nile. Some Arab supremacists like to pretend theirs evolved along the Tigris Euphrates. But I happen to know that’s not true, because there’s no written record that it is. And still others claim their ancestors popped into being on the foothills of Southern Alberta. The latter are the same people who think their great great grandmothers jousted with dinosaurs, so I think we can pretty much put that one to rest.
Here’s something you can take to the bank. If you can’t see the other side of a desert or body of water, you don’t try to cross it. So what happened was our ancestors drifted north along the Nile, and then either west across North Africa on the backs of elephants to turn north at Gibraltar, or else east on flying carpets through the Levant and thence on to the Pacific.
Those who’d crossed into Iberia looped around into France and Italy, and then northeast to the Baltics and the Urals. The move beyond France and Italy has since come to be known as the Great Forgetting. What did they forget? How can you ask? Ever tried Lithuanian cuisine?!
As you can tell from movies, language was invented in England, and it’s been patented. If a character is supposed to be German or Russian or what have you, they’re given an accent the producer thinks they would have had if they spoke another language – of which there aren’t any – but were trying to speak English. Some producers, thinking it would be more authentic, have the Arab or Chinese character speak a made-up gibberish. How can you tell it’s gibberish? Just listen to it.
When the Spanish, and then the French and the English, first discovered the Americas, there was no one there. So they imported some people from India to pretend to be Indians. Why else would they have called them that? Duh! And then they imported some people from Africa to pretend to be slaves. I say pretend because if you take the job because no one else is hiring, and you have nowhere else to go, you’re what Karl Marx calls a worker.
Some of these workers are now clamouring for backpay. They’re claiming that three squares, a roof over your head, and an introduction to Christianity, fell below the legal minimum wage. But that was the legal minimum wage at the time. Just look it up!
And those Indians are now claiming that they’re not Indians. That they came here over some ice bridge from Asia. Well, what’s in Asia? That’s right, India!
There’s an ad on TV right now, paid for by the American taxpayer, saying that Donald Trump was created by God. Well, weren’t we all? And if not, so okay, would the Dems prefer that Donald Trump was created by natural selection? God makes mistakes. Evolution doesn’t. So what are they whining about?
Those Indians – who claim they’re not, so they must be Pretendians – are trying to block the construction of a pipeline across British Columbia so Albertans can sell their oil to China instead of sending it south to the Americans, who say they want it, but only if they can put a tariff on it. So India, which just last year out-populated China, is in the pay of Washington, which is in the pay of Big Tech. So by transitivity of the in-the-pay-of relation, India is in the pay of Big Tech. Quad erat demonstrandum, which only sounds like it’s not English.
ICE was supposed to go after the worst of the worst, so Renee Good and Alex Pretti had to be pretty bad. But they declined, albeit in a circuitous way, to execute Christa Pike. So I guess she’s innocent after all, because even if she was in her right might thirty years ago, she certainly isn’t now. Kind of the reverse, it seems, with Lindsay Clancy.
And by the way, I don’t think the grounds for Clancy’s nigh-acquittal was post-mortem psychosis. I’d like to think it was because eleven decent people thought the woman had suffered enough. Does that mean the one holdout wasn’t a decent person? On the contrary, if he’d been there he wouldn’t have botched Pile’s execution, and she’d be in the loving arms of Jesus right now instead of brain dead and facing thirty years of having the taxpayer change her diapers. See how everything that happens, or doesn’t, is related?
It’s not enough to keep my readers abreast of the news. I want to help them understand it. Tomorrow I’ll let you know the results of tomorrow’s election in Quebec, and what it portends for the forthcoming referendum in Alberta on the 19th. I have a friend working one of the poles that day. I think she might be a tad old for that kind of work, but I wouldn’t dare tell her so.
Categories: Everything You Wanted to Know About What's Going On in the World But Were Afraid to Ask, Humour
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