Let’s face it. Canadian politics are excruciatingly boring. No Canadian party is going to eliminate medicare or criminalise abortion. And really, what else matters? So it’s no surprise that what counts as civil discourse on the other side of the 49th is Canada’s favourite spectator sport.

Prior to a week ago Sunday, Trump had it in the bag, and so he could afford to nominate an idiot as his running mate. Nothing Vance could, and probably would, say – e.g. “childless cat ladies”?! – would have damaged the ticket one iota. But now it’s buyer’s remorse, because everything changed when Harris replaced Biden at the top of the Dem ticket. Now Trump could actually lose. And if he does …?

The awfulisers are worried that all hell’s gonna break loose. From the Canadian perspective that would make great theatre. But alas, it’ll just be more of the feckless high dudgeon we’ve already seen from the MAGA faithful. Nobody’s going to go postal, mainly because, well, now that we have Amazon, nobody uses the post office anymore. The trains will continue to run on time. Except, of course, Amtrak. And, worst of all, we Canadians will have to get our vicarious crazy fix elsewhere.

So our only hope is that Trump wins. No, he won’t be a dictator on Day One. And no, for all the hype, the White Christian Taliban won’t be turning the new Jerusalem into Gilead. But for us at least, it’ll be fun to watch them try.

So part of me – and I grant that part is not one of my better angels – wants Trump to win. I mean, be honest, what’s worse? Bragging about being able to grab a woman’s pussy, or Harris’s maniacal laugh? I put them at just about a dead heat. But that’s because for me, and many of my fellow Canadians, it really is just a spectator sport.

Categories: Everything You Wanted to Know About What's Going On in the World But Were Afraid to Ask, Humour

Tags: Harris, Trump, Vance