For those of you who’ve been following this blog long enough to have detected a gradual drift from my erstwhile Marxist roots towards the Alt-Right, be advised that I’ve just taken leave of both my wife and my senses and run off with my heartthrob, Q-Anon spokesperson Marjorie Taylor Greene, the recently elected Representative for Georgia’s 14th Electoral District, and the presumptive nominee of the Republican Party for the  2024 Presidential election. 

It’s true that Marjorie and I have yet to meet, and likely never will. But when God brings two benighted souls together – I trust ‘benighted’ doesn’t mean the opposite of what I think it means – neither distance nor death can defeat His will. People who think as alike as we do must be brother and sister shorn from the same divine loincloth. 

I know what you’re wondering. How do people like Marjorie – and now me – drift the way we have, from your fake orthodoxy to our true orthodoxy? The answer lies in our intellect. We see things you unbenighteds do not. Things that would be self-evident were you not so unbenighted. If those kids at Parkland had been armed themselves, maybe a few more of them would have survived. If eight million ballots from illegal Honduran refugees hadn’t been stuffed in ballot boxes while the Republican election monitors were taking a pee break, we could be making America great again again.

When President Greene takes office, I’ll be standing at her side, if only in spirit, sporting my MAGAA hat and 6MWE T-shirt, my AK-47 at the ready in one hand, and in the other my Canadian flag … Oh, wait a minute. There’s something out of place in this picture. Not to worry. I’ll sort it out later. With my superior intellect. But right now my wife – I mean my ex-wife – is telling me dinner is ready. 

Categories: Humour

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