Those of us who speak English find it weird, though not offensive, that Latin-based languages – French and Spanish and Italian – assign gender to their nouns, and indicate that assignment with a gendered article. It’s possible that a very macho studly Italian door is deeply hurt by being referred to as “la porta” instead of “il porta”, but I suspect not.
But people who are woke find it offensive, though not weird, that we assign gender to people, and indicate that assignment with a gendered pronoun. So it’s not just possible, it’s demonstrable, that a very macho studly doorperson is deeply hurt by being referred to as “he”. The door lobby in Italy has been unable to move Italian-speakers to degenderize doors; but the doorperson lobby has succeeded in moving English-speakers to defer to the doorperson as to his or her preferred pronoun.
I have no problem with that, provided there’s to be one and only one gender-neutral pronoun. But that’s not the way it’s been going. Instead, each of us is being empowered to pick his or her own pronoun, in just the way our parents were empowered to pick our own names. But that being the case, a pronoun is no longer a pronoun. It’s just a second name. The whole point of having pronouns is to be able to refer abbreviatedly and indifferently to the antecedent. But that function is no longer available if a pronoun is just another name.
I’m okay with that, provided the rest of my fellow English-speakers are. But I suspect we’re not. That said, I think we should be lobbying with our less enlightened European counterparts to be more sensitive to the feelings of their doors.